Ben’s Interview with David Desteno

David DeStenoOn March 2, 2018, we had an interview with David DeSteno, PhD to talk about his new book, Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride. David is a professor of psychology at Northeastern University where he directs the Social Emotions Group. He is author of The Truth About Trust and co-author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller, Out of Character. In his newest book, Emotional Success, he reveals how three emotions—gratitude, compassion and pride—can provide the surest, quickest route to success in any realm.

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David DeSteno: Emotions, Self Control and Success
(19 mins)

What underlies success? Self-control, according to psychology
professor David DeSteno. But why are we still so bad it? DeSteno argues
that our understanding of self-control, willpower and reason is fundamentally
flawed. Instead he proposes the power of emotions—gratitude, compassion
and pride—versus more traditional cognitive strategies, in positively
influencing behavior to achieve greater successes in our professional
and personal lives.

ABOUT EMOTIONAL SUCCESS: The Power of Gratitude,
Compassion, and Pride.

David DeSteno Emotional SuccessIn Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion and Pride,
pioneering psychologist David DeSteno reveals how three emotions can
provide the surest, quickest route to success in any realm.

A string of bestsellers have alerted us to the importance of grit—an
ability to persevere and control one’s impulses that is so closely
associated with greatness. But no book yet has charted the most accessible
and powerful path to grit: our prosocial emotions. These feelings—gratitude,
compassion and pride—are easier to generate than the willpower
and self-denial that underpin traditional approaches to self-control
and grit. And, while willpower is quickly depleted, prosocial emotions
actually become stronger the more we use them. These emotions have
another crucial advantage: they’re contagious. Those around us become
more likely to apply them when we do.

As David explains, prosocial emotions evolved specifically to help
us resist immediate temptations in favor of long-term gains. Originally,
they enabled us to build lasting relationships with other people,
and they still do that brilliantly. But they can also be adapted to
strengthen our bonds with our own future selves—who will benefit
most from the grit we need to succeed in life. No matter what our
goals are, Emotional Success can help us achieve them with
greater ease and deeper satisfaction than we would have thought possible.



David DeSteno

David DeSteno is a professor of psychology at Northeastern University, where
he directs the Social Emotions Group. He holds a PhD in psychology
from Yale University. At the broadest level, his work examines the
mechanisms of the mind that shape vice and virtue. Studying hypocrisy
and compassion, pride and punishment, cheating and trust, his work
continually reveals that human moral behavior is much more variable
than most would predict.

David is a fellow of the Association for Psychological Science and
the American Psychological Association, for which he served as editor-in-chief
of the journal Emotion. His work has been
repeatedly funded by the National Science Foundation and has been
regularly featured in the media, including The New York Times,The
Wall Street Journal
, CBS Sunday Morning, NPR’s Radiolab
and Talk of the Nation, and USA Today.

He is the author of Emotional Success,The Truth
About Trust,
and co-author ofThe Wall Street Journal
spotlight psychology bestsellerOut of Character. He has written
about his research for The New York Times, The Boston
, Harvard Business Review, Pacific Standard,
Mother Jones,
and The Atlantic.



“Are high achievers simply blessed with more willpower than
the rest of us? DeSteno’s provocative argument is that the science
of success is, in fact, very much the science of social emotions like
gratitude and compassion. I, for one, am convinced!”

– Angela Duckworth, author of Grit

“One of the leading psychologists of our time has discovered
the keys to success: our emotions. They give us strength, they help
us stick to our goals, they make us better friends and better people.
DeSteno shows how gratitude, compassion, and—surprisingly—pride
are essential to the good life.
Emotional Success is a beautifully
written and very important book.”

– Paul Bloom, professor of psychology at Yale University
and author of
Against Empathy: The Case for Rational

“If you think the key to self-control is overriding your emotions,
think again. Moral emotions can strengthen your willpower—and
this fascinating book uses the latest social science to explain how.”
– Adam Grant, author of Give and Take, Originals,
and Option B
with Sheryl Sandberg

Emotional Success is as inspiring as it is practical.
DeSteno shows us how to use our feelings of gratitude, compassion,
and authentic pride to improve our lives—and the world.”

– Arianna Huffington, author of Thrive
and The Sleep Revolution

“This book is a new and interesting take on success—not
one based on willpower or a rather grim effort to talk ourselves down
from desiring something. Instead, David DeSteno offers a skillful
path of emotions such as gratitude, patience and compassion, and the
forging of connection to others as a vital route to success.”

– Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness
and Real Love.

“A revolutionary way to achieve our goals that promises to make
us happier, healthier, and more resilient along the way. Using persuasive
prose and cutting-edge science, DeSteno shows how we can attain grit
and grace—the perseverance to succeed combined with the qualities
that inspire others as well.”

– Chade-Meng Tan, author of Joy on Demand
and Search Inside Yourself

“Anyone who hopes to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life
should read this book. DeSteno reveals the hidden power of “prosocial
emotions,” feelings like pride (but without hubris), gratitude, and
compassion. He relies on research rather than anecdote to convince
us that these emotions underlie grit and emotional intelligence.”
– Peter Salovey, professor of psychology and president of
Yale University, and co-discoverer of emotional intelligence



David’s website

Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride .

Emotional Success on Amazon



Popular Articles:

The Only Way to Keep Your Resolutions. David DeSteno. The New York
. 12/29/17.

Better Than Willpower. A new book argues that reason and perseverance
aren’t enough. Instead, three emotions are the secret to getting things
done. The Atlantic. 1/18/19.

Price can be a virtue, but it needs to be the right kind of pride. Ideas.Ted.Com.

How to Cultivate Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride on Your Team. Harvard
Business Review
. 2/20/18.

The Connection Between Pride and Persistence. Harvard Business Review.

The Morality of Meditation. New York Times. 7/5/13.



Video: Emotional Intelligence for Success. 19 mins.

Video:  Teams, Trust & Creativity. 21 mins.

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